I just found myself searching for an semi-recent email within my gmail account. What a mistake! While searching for the email, I came across some old IMs from someone I used to be quite close with, ahhh…..the wonders of gmail and gchat. Anyway, seeing just a tease of what we used to spend our days and nights talking about was hard. You see, we don’t talk anymore besides the once in the blue moon exchange, so I decided to search for all of the IMs with that person and delete them.
Why is it, if we don’t talk anymore, and this person is all but out of my life, did it hurt so much to see and then delete the IMs? Maybe I miss them. Maybe it’s because for a while they were a major part of my daily life and now they’re just a memory and a sidebar.
I don’t know.
I wish I knew.
I’m sorry Stef. I’m sure it hurt to delete the IMs because that person was a major part of your life and part of your daily routine. Once your routine changed, you have a void to fill. An emptiness. Send them an email and say hello. no?
It hurt more than anyone can possibly realize. Unfortunately, it’s not that simple.
This made me sad a little. My wishes for you are for nothing but happiness always Stef!
Imagine how hard it was for me to write it. I also wonder if the person read the post. I guess I might never know.
that’s the worst. i tend to not delete things, and every so often i’ll come across some folder of pictures that i hid from myself, or random gchat conversations, or an email i really didn’t need to see again. but, more often than not, i re-hide it instead of deleting it. i have no idea why. i should delete 😦
you’re stronger than most, i think. even though it hurt. unexpected memories like that are probably the worst thing in the world. next time i come across something, i’ll think of this and delete. i hope…
I think it’s because deleting IM’s/photographs/blog entries is the modern day equivalent of getting a barrel in the back garden and burning old love letters. I guess.
I see it the other way around. Keep everything. Because as much as it hurts to read some, try hard to just surf to another page and forget about it. As time progresses, reading those old chats, emails, etc. becomes easier and easier. It’s like a gauge to see how much you’re actually “over it.”
Of course, I’m speaking from my own perspective and experience – so your mileage may vary.
But in the end time heals all wounds (at least it’s supposed to.)
PS – forgot to ask how much time had transpired? weeks? months? years? how many?
I forgot to add one thing. The main benefit for keeping those IM’s and emails – is sort of like a true, honest “history book” of your life. You’ll be amazed at reading stuff from years ago how your own idealogical tune can change, what you focus on, what is important.
Also, it can be of benefit to see if you repeat the same mistakes – which is hard to do if you don’t have evidence left behind.